Want what you have...

This is the secret to happiness. Of course, knowing it and living it are two different things.

I've never spent much of my life looking back. Sure, there are some things I'd do differently, but I don't dwell on them. And anyway they are mostly non-specific things, like I wish I'd done better in school...stuff like that.

I've also been able to do some things that I wouldn't change for anything. I've been to exciting places - Hawaii, the USVI, Germany and Mexico. I'd like to take my wife back to some of the places I got to go before I knew her. On the other hand, comparing trips I made with her and trips I made without her, the times with her are the most memorable. Not that I didn't enjoy trips with my family, but with those my memories are more about me. Trips with my wife have left me with memories about us.

One thing about trips I've taken with my wife: we've had some exceptional times in some relatively ordinary places. I remember driving along the Gulf Coast from New Orleans into Mississippi. We didn't really do much except drive and look at the houses along the beach. I won't ever forget it though.

We were able to turn a work trip to Florida into a vacation / wedding / honeymoon. We flew into Tampa, then drove to Ft. Lauderdale. I worked a few days in each place, then we got married (Tuesday, after work). We took the rest of the week for a honeymoon. We drove to the Keys. I have fond memories of an ordinary gas station / convenience store just across the bridge on Key Largo. It started pouring just as we got out of the car. I remember the little stand that sold Cuban sandwiches (and only Cuban sandwiches) out in front of the Publix grocery. We stayed in some truly memorable hotels.

Our wedding day was unlike anyone else's that we know. I worked that day. At lunch I took her to have her nails done. After work I went and picked up a bouquet for her (ordered it myself and I have to say, I was impressed). Then we drove together to Hillsboro Beach and got married on the beach - barefoot. Afterward we stopped at Outback Steakhouse on the way back to the hotel. (We had a tough time finding a place to eat, and almost settled on something like Burger King.) We celebrated with half a bottle of wine, and fell asleep early. We were both exhausted. And I wouldn't change a thing.

We have had similar times at other places (though we only got married the one time). One weekend we headed for a Trading Days sort of thing in a small town in central Texas, and ended up 8 hours later on the beach in Matagorda. We spent the night in Port LaVaca, had Church's Chicken for dinner, and got up the next morning and headed south to Port Aransas. Early that afternoon, we decided we'd better head home. In the end, we just drove a big circle. These are the memories I'm happiest about.

But I'm getting off track. My point is that happiness is in our hands. I could have the attitude that it takes a million dollar boat, a Learjet and a private island, and then I'd be happy. These things aren't likely. Or I could be happy with things that are a little more in my reach. Even if the million dollar boat was a possibility, given enough hard work, sacrifice and luck, I'd still have to spend all the time and energy necessary to obtain it. That doesn't seem very productive to me. I'm not saying I shouldn't aspire to greater things - I do. And I have my own Bucket List, parts of which are not really attainable. But my happiness doesn't depend on these.

Of course, there are some for whom the challenge is the reward. There are folks who find happiness not in owning something, but in obtaining it. Overcoming the challenges and the barriers does certainly provide satisfaction. And to those people, I raise my glass. Because for them, the challenge is the desire, and it's within their reach.

When we can learn to want the things we have, we'll have the things we want. And once in a while, something will come along and surprise us.